Sometimes life gets in the way of what we really want from life. Contradictory – Yes! However valid!  How often do you just continue along the hamster wheel of life without stopping to take stock of if things are tracking how you always imagined they would?

Your Roadmap for Life: AKA Not Negotiables

Sometimes it’s that uneasy feeling you get in a certain situation or a deep set feeling of ‘my life sucks’. Perhaps you always wanted to travel the world, have kids or change your career. Sometimes all we need is a change or to reassess exactly what we want from life. Life is complicated but there are times when you have to just stop and think about what you really want and value.

I completed a Leadership Management course through work at the end of 2013 and the beginning of 2014. It was largely about learning to set goals [something I do all the time anyway and really enjoy], delegating and coaching others among other things.

Once of the activities we did during the training was to create a roadmap for our lives. Effectively this roadmap for our lives was a [ugly in my case] diagram showing all the things and values that were important to you and living your life.

Whilst at the time to most it seemed like a redundant activity of which the sole purpose was to not be doing ‘real work’, I really valued the exercise and thought it was a great opportunity to reassess what I wanted from life and where I wanted to go in the future. [Hello wanting reduced working hours to work on some other projects!]

Sometimes you just need an opportunity to take a bit of time out of your life [even an hour or two] to think about your values and what you really want to get from life. How often do we truly stop what we are doing and assess our lives?

The roadmap for life for me is essentially a list of values or other things that are not negotiable for me; they are things or values that I will not compromise on. Having a list of your non-negotiables [or at least having a think about them], helps when you are feeling a bit confused about life or a certain situation.  You can then think back to what you really want from life and how you want others to perceive you and then act accordingly.

This is my Roadmap for life of things that are not negotiable and are super important to me, while it is not an exhaustive list it certainly does help to bring things into perspective:

If you don’t know where you’re going, how do you know when you get there? Whilst it’s not a necessity to have and many people tick along just nicely without one, I do think it is an invaluable tool in evaluating if life [or certain situations] is heading where you want to go. The roadmap for life or a list of things that are not negotiable to you will certainly help you to remember what is important for you.

Think about creating a roadmap for your life, even if just in your head [although getting things down on paper makes them that much more real]. This helps you to evaluate what it is that you REALLY want and need from life and ignores that stuff that isn’t really that important but can feel important in the heat of the moment. [This can be valuable when having arguments or trying to decide whether or not to forgive someone – hint, forgive; it makes life a lot easier!]

The roadmap for life does not need to always be values and things such as honesty and integrity, they can also be things such as making time for travel, yoga, going to the gym a certain number of times a week or even getting regular pedicures or massages. Whilst financial situations often dictate some of these if you know what you truly value as being the most important [and often those that bring you the most joy], you can think about how you spend your money. You may find that you are spending on things that don’t bring you that much joy and you can then reassess and work out how you can redirect that spending on to things that bring you more joy. 

It may even be that things like having your own home or having kids one day make it on to that list. Whilst it’s not necessary to decide when and where these things are going to happen, it is good to know that they are things you definitely want from your life and that you are not willing to budge on [within reason, obviously some people are unable to have kids and finances can dictate the housing situation] and you can make decisions for your life [or people in it] accordingly.

I’ll leave you with this: If you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?

What are some of your not negotiables in your roadmap for life?